It's a Wonderful Life…

with the Mace family.

We are Adopting….or at the very least beginning the process

Before Nate and I were married, before we had even met, we both had the desire deep in our hearts to adopt.

The first time it came up was almost 8 years ago on March 2, 2006, our first date.  I’m sure it’s not a common first date topic, or at least with any date I had been on, but a giggling baby down the aisle from us only drew our attention that way.  I remember smiling (who can’t!) at how much noise it was making, so joyful was the sound.  While I couldn’t tell you the conversation word for word or even a decent paraphrase, I do know two things came up:  bi-racial babies and adoption.  I recall Nate asking what I thought of bi-racial babies, which struck me as a bit odd.  I can honestly tell you what my response was because it has never changed,  they are beautiful just like any other baby.  And somehow this led to talk about adoption.

And nearly 8 years later we are beginning the process.  This has been something I have dreamed about a million times, and while I can’t speak for Nate, I assume it’s the same.  I have thought about it so many times.  I have wondered about it so often.  Who will it be?  How old will they be?  And lately, how many?  Would it be just one or possibly two?  Am I ready?  Oh I ask this question a million times, wondering can I take on this responsibility for one, perhaps two more children.  Will I succeed or will I fail?  (But as parents, don’t we sometimes wonder this.)  And then I think about the mother who has to give them up for me.  My heart breaks for her in a way I never imagined it could because she is losing something so precious.  I wonder who she is, what is she doing right now, and why is her child coming to us.  I pray for her and this child because they will have a long, hard road ahead of them.  And my heart breaks for her because this will be painful and there will be suffering.  I cannot hold her and tell her I will love her child.  Even if I could, it would not ease her pain.  I am a mother.  I could not imagine letting go of my child.  And in a sense, I am asking that of her.

I guess now would be a good time to explain that Nate and I are adopting an older child (or sibling group) through the foster care system.  We plan on using an adoption agency, even though it’s very possible to just go through the system itself.  After orientation, we are seeing that we will need someone to help us navigate the waters bit.

I’m a little nervous because there is so much unknown, but so excited as well.  I can’t wait to meet them!

We want to invite you to join us on this journey.  It’s going to be an adventure!

xoxo

Amberly

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Long Overdue

Yep, this post is aptly titled!  Sometimes I don’t know how time escapes so quickly.  The past few months have been a like a time vacuum, sucking it up without us even realizing it.  It’s Feb already, and I cannot acct for where the time has gone.  We’ve been doing the same old thing it seems.  But that can’t be possible because really we’ve done so much.

I’ll start with what we are looking forward to, The Lego Movie.  You all know how crazy the boys are about Legos, so I am sure you know we will be seeing this movie.  What you don’t know is that N and I have also looked forward to it too!  We love legos:)  In fact, we have all been collecting the Lego minfigs that are selling for the Lego movie.  Yes, even we have our own minifigs.  N is traveling so we won’t be joining the masses churning out to see this on Friday.  However, it works in our favor because we will be going during the day when it’s cheaper(!) and less crowded.  We are all excited to see this movie and have been looking forward to it for what seems like almost a year.

Also N and I are going to start the adoption process next week.  We are looking at adopting through the foster care system.  We expect this to take about a year because of all the classes we need to do and having to work around N’s schedule a little bit.  Next week is just the orientation where we will find out more info.  I have started an adoption blog for people to follow if they want to. (themacefamilyadopts.wordpress.com, it’s not set up just yet)  I know what you’re thinking, “But you don’t post often enough on here, and now your going to start another one”.  Rest assured, you will only need to check this one.  I will be posting the same things as far as the adoption process goes on both.  This blog is for family only, where the adoption one will be for both family and friends and much more public.  Just stick with this one and you all will be fine.  Besides, this one will be posted on more.  Or at least hopefully.  The boys haven’t really said much about it since we’ve told them.  I think right now it’s just an abstract idea and not quite real.  Once things start rolling, I think they will be more vocal.  With B, I think he will probably open up to his grandparents more than us.  But I am hoping that he will feel free to say how he is feeling and what he thinks.

B is still struggling to get school work done and manage his time.  Please pray for him about this.  We have started a timer method, which I have shied away from because it has caused anxiety in the past.  This seems to be working and he is done by 3 or 4pm.  He will also be schooling year round from here on out.  I know what you are thinking, but honestly we have already taken several breaks, more than public school and we are still looking at completing our year by the first week of June.  And B would like to learn quite a bit of things, and we can’t get that all done in nine months.  Summer months will be fun things, like learning to cook and sew, two things he wants to learn to do.  I am going to “make” classes to teach him and have the goal being he shops and prepares a meal by himself by the end of that.  With sewing, it will be basic skills like fixing a rip in the seam and attaching a button.  We will also focus on Latin and critical thinking skills with brain puzzles.  His actual school work will take less than an hour a day.  And we will  read books together that we have been wanting to do.  The focus is more together oriented.  He starts seventh grade in the fall, which means most of his work will be done on his own.  Something exciting happened for B.  He wrote a letter to the Lego company back in Nov/Dec.  The responded back with a one and a half page letter.  You should have seen the grin on his face!  I was impressed with their response to him and that they took the time to address what he wrote and answer him, even sharing something they are working on that his letter addressed!  Ask him about it because I know he would love to tell you and read it to you.  I am so very proud of him.  As you know he hates writing, but he the letter he wrote was very well done.  It was nice to see that he could put into practice what I had taught him last year.

Gav is learning to read and actually can read some.  He loves it and it is crazy how quickly he catches on.  We are also working on writing, but reading is really our main focus.  He is as crazy and funny as ever.  The spidey suit no longer fits and it seems he is growing out of that phase.  Sad but true.  He is having the hardest time with N traveling, and we are constantly struggling to stay in a routine.  I will try to get a video of him reading his Bob books.

N and I have decided to change churches.  We have been at this one for a year and a half, but haven’t made any friends outside of Sunday morning.  It’s not for lack of trying as we have opened our house up to others and invited them over.  We have also been active in church activities.  We are also not being fed spiritually and desperately need that.  We have been pouring into others without being poured into, which eventually led us to feeling a bit empty.  Our desire is to live life with families, and we don’t see that desire being lived out here.  It’s mainly just talk at this point.  We already have another church in mind right now that we are going to try out.  They seem to be what we are looking for and desiring for our family.  I have talked to B about this and he is a little sad, understanding of why, but feels he doesn’t really have much of a choice.  We talked about that though.  He knows why we are leaving and what we desire for him and our family.  Sometimes this happens, but I am so thankful we aren’t leaving because of something being done or said.  It’s on good terms, or as good as it can be at this point.  No one likes to hear a family is leaving the church.

I think that about catches everyone up.  Can I just say, I am jealous of all the snow you all have been getting!  It was warm enough for us to be outside on sunny days until last week.  Now it’s cold and the wind is bitter.  I sure would appreciate you all sending some of that snow our way:)

Have a good week!  xoxo

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